so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize