I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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