My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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