Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize