I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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