I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
