I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
