oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
