My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
