we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
