We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
