I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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