SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
