This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
