can we get nightvision for the apartment?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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