You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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