I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I want is dick and wine.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
