At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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