that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
