No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize