My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
even my farts smell like vagina
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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