Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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