I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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