drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
