those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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