Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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