i jhust puked up my retainher.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
