If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
