i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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