Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
