I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
