All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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