i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize