I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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