No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
