just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
