everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
