It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
