I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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