i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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