youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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