dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
