Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
