You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
