I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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