so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
