You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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