that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize