I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
