Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
