Your dad touched me again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
