My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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