True but thats because hes a fetus.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
