Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
