Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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