I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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