did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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