I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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