I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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