hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
