There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
