Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
